Keeping Raphael: A Dark Mafia Billionaire Romance (Amatucci Family Book 8) by Sadie Jacks

Author:Sadie Jacks [Jacks, Sadie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-04-22T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter 21 – Petunia

I focused on my breathing. This guy…he alternately shredded and shored up my control. It was fascinating and infuriating at the same time. I couldn’t wait to see what we would achieve together.

We still had a few things to discuss however. Important things. Almost as important as the hard and soft limits. At least to me. And because they were important to me, we would be discussing them. At length.

“For this next part, feel free to speak at any point. Don’t interrupt me, because that’s just rude, but you don’t need express permission to speak.” I held his gaze, let him see I meant what I said.

He nodded. Smiled. “Thank you, Mistress.”

A thrill went through my body at his words. With previous partners it was rote. Just something that was expected—especially in the club. But from Raphael it felt special. More meaningful. Deeper.

“Now, one thing I always want to discuss is need. Why do you need someone to dominate you? What do you think it will do for you? What can I do to help meet those needs? If you have this need, with what and how do you think it will be satisfied?”

His blank stare told me that he was definitely a beginner in the BDSM scene. His technical knowledge from watching porn had given him some kind of idea about the mechanics of it, but not the emotional side of the relationships that formed between partners.

I smiled. “For example, I am a Dominant because it provides me a sense of control that I’ve never had in my life. Certainly not sexually, but also not physically. I learned long ago that my emotions are dictated by me and me alone. Being a Dominant allows me to relax and enjoy sex because I control all aspects of it with my partner.”

He blinked. I could see the wheels churning in his brain as he thought through and digested my answer. I gave him some time to form an answer for himself.

Most of the world thought kinky sex was the beginning and ending of BDSM relationships. And while the kinky sex was definitely enjoyable, the D/s part of my relationships went far beyond just that. Being in charge of myself and my partner gave me something I couldn’t find anywhere else in my world. Control. Pride. Self-awareness.

It also forced me to look outside myself. If I was in charge of someone else, sometimes in life-threatening situations, then I had to stay in the moment. Make sure I was monitoring them with an eagle eye for safety, comfort, pain threshold, and pleasure. That was a lot to take on.

Most vanilla partners I’d been with had been selfish. Only caring about their own pleasure. How to get it. Even at the sacrifice of their partner.

Sex was all too common in my world. And used as a method of control and humiliation. I refused to live without the basic necessity of sex in my personal life. So I found ways to make it personal, impactful, and meaningful.

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